Celestial Ones
by bbubblebee
Summary: Kenny can't believe it when a new girl moves to Colorado who seems to have the same resistance to death that he has. But Kenny should've realised, that this is South Park, and nothing ever goes the way you want it. Rated T for bad language & sexual themes


**A/N: Cartman is seriously not included in this story simply because he annoys me, sorry. Also, please read beyond half way! The first part is shitty, but necessary!**

**Celestial Ones**

**Chapter 1**

"Fuck!" I narrowed my eyes at the trickle of blood on my finger. Paper cut. I held my bare hand and pressed on my finger to stop the blood flowing, "Mr Garrison!" I called out to the teacher.

"What Kenny?" He turned, his face showing his annoyance at being interrupted. He saw my hand, rolled his eyes and sighed. "Honestly Kenny what is it with you and getting hurt?" He didn't know the half of it.

"Well, can I get a plaster or what?" My muffled voice asked him. He shifted his hand into a horizontal thumbs-up and gestured to the door.

"Sure. Whatever." He turned his back and continued writing on the blackboard. I leapt down and walked to the door.

"Aw lucky Kinney! You getta miss class," I heard Cartman moan behind me and I let out a quite, muffled chuckle. It was worth getting a paper cut to see that fat-ass jealous.

I walked over to the nurse's office and announced my arrival with a muffled "I'm back! Did you miss me?" I saw Nurse Gollum walk into sight from behind one of the privacy curtains.

"Oh hey Kenny," she looked tired. Maybe that dead fœtus attached to her head was taking its toll on her. "I'm sorry I'm a bit busy at the moment. What are you here for?"

I lifted up my hand and shrugged, "Just a paper cut. I only need a plaster." She wandered over to the first aid box, took a plaster from it and chucked it at me. I caught it.

"Ok, bye now, Kenny." She flicked her pink hair from her eyes and returned behind the privacy curtain.

I shrugged and put the plaster on. I really didn't care what had made her so busy. I turned to leave when I heard a voice behind me say, "Can I go now?"

That was weird. Generally kids tried to worm their way into staying longer than usual in the nurse's office. I turned and wandered over to the privacy curtain. I leaned my head to side and stared at the angry looking girl slumped on the side of the bed. She was staring at the floor and didn't notice me.

"Taylor! You might have blood-poisoning! People _die _from blood-poisoning!" I saw now what Nurse Gollum was so flustered about.

"Who cares about another lousy death." My heart nearly stopped as I heard the mutter. The way she said it made it sound like it'd be another of _her _lousy deaths. Is it possible that I was not alone in the scary talent I possessed? No surely not. She must've been talking about the Earth's massive percentage of deaths.

"Nurse Gollum, why is there a kid in an orange space-suit staring at me?" I blinked as I realised that girl Taylor was talking about me.

"Kenny!" I looked up to see a surprised and angry nurse. "What are you still doing here?"

"I wanted to see who was behind here." I shrugged.

"Oh well, Kenny this is Taylor, a new student in... your class I believe. Unfortunately she had to be sent here after only 5 minutes of being in South Park Elementary due to a severe vomit case." Taylor sighed at the introduction.

"Geez it's only a bit of puke. It's not like I'm dying." I saw her eyes narrow for a half second, and the corners of her mouth twitch into a sadistic smile. "Not that dying would matter either."

My heart pumped fast. The only person who would say that is the Goth kids or immortals. I looked at her and, crazily, it appeared immortal was much more probable than Emo. I knew then that this Taylor girl must have the same resistance to death just like I do. I mean, who else would act like blood poisoning was no big deal, who else could possibly be sent to the nurses' office so often that they got sick of it?

I let out a joyful '_woo hoo!'_, fist punched the air and ran out of the nurses' office. I didn't care that they probably wondering why the hell I just did that, instead I ran back to where class was, only to hear the bell ring and students flow out from the classrooms.

"Oh, hey Kenny. Where the hell d'you go?" Stan asked as we went outside to recess.

"Yeah, you spent, like 10 minutes in there dude." Kyle echoed Stan's question, whereas Cartman just muttered something about me being lucky.

Instead of answering their questions I just laughed and ran in front of them, fist punching the air once more as I did.

"What's up with him?" Kyle asked as I danced around the playground.

Stan shrugged, "I dunno. Maybe he found out another slut's moved to South Park."

Kyle smirked as the three followed me into the playground.

**XXX**

My friends sort of ignored me during break, leaving me to celebrating my discovery in peace. It was only when I had calmed down that I noticed their absence.

I know I wouldn't have calmed down if it weren't for the fact I saw Taylor walking down the concrete steps. She looked pissed off.

I couldn't help myself; I had to talk to her. I practically ran to her as she sat herself down on a bench and huddled her legs up close to her.

It was obvious from her position and the excessive amount of clothes she was wearing that she was used to a much warmer climate.

As I came closer she looked up, flicking her brown hair out of her eyes, "Oh look it's the orange astronaut."

"It's a fucking parka!" I shouted, my eyebrows in a V shape above my eyes.

She sniffed, "Ok, sorry for offending you, but I've never even heard of a parka before."

"Really? Where're you from?" I asked, tilting my head.

"New Caledonia." She answered and I stared at her.

"Is that in California?" I scowled as she laughed uncontrollably.

"Wow you Americans are so ignorant! 'Hmm, she speaks English but doesn't have an accent I know of...must come from a different part of America.'" She giggled again.

"Fuck you!" She was very annoying; nearly as annoying as Cartman.

"Hey Kenny, who're you talking too?" I turned and saw my three best friends. Stan was holding a basketball.

"Oh guys, this is Taylor. She's not from California." They didn't react to my offhand comment; instead they just eyed Taylor suspiciously.

"That's funny. You don't look like a slag," Kyle said in a normal tone. Taylor looked taken aback.

"Why would you presume I'm a slag?"

"Cus you're hanging out with Kenny," Stan said. I didn't know whether I was supposed to be offended at this or not, so I didn't do anything.

"Yeah Kinney only hangs out with chicks if he thinks he's gonna get some."

I punched Cartman and he fell to the floor with a thud. My fists in clenched balls I shouted, "Hey that's not true fat-ass!"

I rolled my eyes as he started crying and kicked him again.

"Ow Kiinneeeeey!" he cried. I gave up and sat down on the bench next to Taylor.

"Yeah seriously Cartman. I mean, Kenny started to go out with Tammy _before _he knew she'd give him a B.J." Kyle said.

"Yeah." Stan said and kicked Cartman too for no reason.

Taylor was wide-eyed at the sight. "Uh, is he your friend?"

"...well yeah." Kyle said awkwardly.

"Then why did you just kick him?" She clearly didn't grasp the concept of our relationship.

"Because we hate him." Stan told her. She looked confused but didn't say anything.

"So why _are _you hanging out with her if she's not going to fuck you?" Kyle asked me and I rolled my eyes.

"You know sex isn't the only thing I think about." I said my voice muffled under my parka.

Kyle and Stan shared a look, "Really?" Stan said. There was genuine surprise in his voice.

"...So, what else do you think about?" Kyle asked.

"Uh, well..." Fuck. What else _did _I think about? "You know! The economy and shit!"

The two boys sniggered. "The _economy_? Kenny, do you even know who the _president _is?" Kyle said.

I stayed silent and they laughed harder.

A whisper came from my left, "Barack Obama." I looked over and saw it was Taylor.

"Barack...Obama." I said cautiously, unsure of whether or not she was just trying to humiliate me more.

Their laughter subdued and I gave a smug look, despite knowing I didn't deserve it.

"Ok...so you think about sex and the economy...that still doesn't explain why you're hanging out with her." I was pissed at Stan for bringing up that topic again.

"Uh...well we met at the nurse's office. She could have blood-poisoning so I...came to see...whether she's...okay?" I said awkwardly. I knew it wasn't really a very good excuse but what else could I say? Oh yeah I think she may share the creepy talent of not being able to die with me. Yeah that would go down well.

"Shit, blood-poisoning?" Kyle let out an exclamation and fat-ass stopped crying.

"I-is that why you kicked me Kinney?" he let out a pathetic sniff, "because she-she could die, a-and I wasn't being very nice?"

"No I kicked you because I hate you." I frowned.

"Seriously, why do you hang out with him if you hate him?" Taylor was staring at Cartman, who was now sitting up and wiping the dirt off his face.

"Hey bitch!" Cartman snapped, "Only that stinking Jew and Kinney hate me!"

"No I hate you too fat-ass." Stan replied normally.

"I'm not fat! I'm big boned!" Cartman shouted, stood up and looked down on us. Shit his nose is big. "Screw you guys! I'm going home!" he stormed off.

"So _are _you going to die of blood-poisoning?" Stan asked Taylor.

"Uh..." she clearly didn't understand the concept of Cartman being our friend yet we hate him and want him to die.

"Oh just ignore Cartman. He's retarded." Kyle said in a submissive tone.

"Um so, I guess I could die from blood-poisoning, but its fine. I'll just get some antibiotics from the doctor. It's cool; I get hurt all the time." She said casually. I felt a sudden thrill within me. What if she really did have my power!

"Hey so does Kenny!" Stan announced.

Taylor chuckled, "I got that."

"Huh?" I asked, with my voice muffled. How did _she _know that I got hurt all the time?

"Well, you did say 'Hey I'm back! Did you miss me?' when you walked into the nurse's office." She pulled her legs closer to her. "Fuck its cold! How do you people live like this?"

Stan shrugged, "We've never really known any difference. Where are you from?"

"New Caledonia." She answered with a pointed look at me.

"Uh...ok." Kyle said. He looked embarrassed; it was clear he had no idea where that place was either, but didn't want to seem stupid.

She let out a small laugh, "It's a country near Australia."

"Oh. Who owns it?" Stan said.

"France." She said bluntly.

"Wait, does that mean you're fluent in French?" I asked with glee.

"Yeah..."

"Can you do my French homework for me?" I had my back straight, my eyes wild with excitement and my hands in clenched fists in front of me. I absolutely hated French.

"If you do my English for me." I slumped down again.

"Fuck you." I muttered and she smirked.

**XXX**

**A/N: My first ever South Park FanFic. I know that they probably wouldn't do French in South Park Elementary but it's my story XD**

**There probably will be some slash & romance, but not sure where it will be...suggestions?**

**Please review! I need serious motivation if I'm going to attempt a South Park story T.T**


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